the horns of ames

Preaching to a bear

A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to
the students of the University of Georgia in Athens.

They would get together two or three times a week at the Varsity for
coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and
attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "experience".
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first.

"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed
my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became
as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him
first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he
claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out
and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from
God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I
took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,
UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick
DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he
became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the time praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out
of him. He was in bad shape.

Rabbi Lipschitz looks up and struggles to speak to the others. "Looking
back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things
out."

posted by Aaron @ www.HornIT.net @ 7:38 PM